06 Jan
Self Defense Dorks!
I think I’m going to have to us that drop to my knees and sock your balls like a punching bag move.
27 Dec
Captain Kirk is climbing a mountain. Why is he climbing a mountain?
Because I’m in love.
-Mattao
27 Dec
Fast Food Folk Song (at the Taco Bell Drive-Thru)
Once upon a time, there was a YouTube fad of sharing rap videos in a drive-thru.
It’s been brought back…but, we’re mixin’ up music genres.
Awesome 
-Mattao
12 Dec
Movie Review: The Princess and The Frog
So, Disney kinda doomed themselves by putting all the pressure on themselves. “Disney’s making another Princess movie! And she’s BLACK!” Whoopdee fucking doo. Let’s make a big deal out of it, and show just how racist we are! Get ahold of yourselves, America. Didn’t you know? Princesses can’t be black. Duh!
Morons.
But as I was saying: because of the (racist) hype that was caused, Disney put so much pressure on themselves and worried about its success so much that they buckled under the pressure and made a mediocre movie. They basically took a classic fairytale, tried an original spin, and soaked it in Disney formula expecting it to be exciting and new. Guess what, Disney. If you use a FORMULA, the result won’t be anything NEW. Even with the amazing team they assembled for themselves, they still failed to create a new classic. They got the writers/directors of The Little Mermaid and Aladdin (Ron Clements and John Musker), and the guy who did music for Toy Story, Randy Newman. Sad to say it, but I think Mr. Clements and Mr. Musker have lost their writing edge after 17 years. And no offense, but Randy Newman’s stuff is catchy and all well and good, but his style doesn’t have what it takes to make a new Disney song. There’s no new song in this movie that you’ll hear people bust out in drunken karaoke as you would for songs like “A Whole New World” and “Beauty and the Beast.”
[warning - mild spoilers]
As I watched the movie, I kept seeing things rehashed from older films. Sometimes it’s a loose relation, but it made sense in my head. For example, they bring back wishing on a star. Thank you Pinocchio.
The bad guy song in the movie reminded me of Scar’s song to the Hyenas from The Lion King only (obviously) not nearly as good, kissing a princess before midnight has relation to Cinderella in the sense of the midnight being an important time thing, a song about turning human again (Beauty and the Beast -special edition-) and of course, every movie has to have a ball.
The first half felt rushed, and the songs felt forced into the film. Again, good songs…nothing grabbing. Character development has always been something crucial to the success of Disney’s classics. This just didn’t have it. I barely felt like the bad guy had a real motive and was just playing with voodoo because he could. Even in previous movies where the main characters fall in love in like, 2 days, they somehow manage to make the development seem…somewhat natural, and make it seem like not such a ridiculous idea to fall in love with someone within a matter of days Though, going back, Ariel was a fucking nut job. She was in love with a human who didn’t even know she existed O_o Hahaha. But whatever. All that happens to these characters is that the spoiled prince learns how to cut up a mushroom, and he forces her to learn dancing…and VOILA! Recipe for froggy love. I’m sorry, but the magic of Disney is gone. They’re too focused on success and making money to realize where the heart has gone. Ultimately, the heart of the family film feels like it has left Disney, and Disney is left with a family film with no soul.
Funny how things change with time. Not 15 years ago, Disney was on top of the world with the best story tellers in film under their belt. Classics like The Little Mermaid, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, and The Lion King were released all consecutively. And oh how the might have fallen. The torch, imo, has been passed on to Pixar’s John Lasseter and his close friend, Studio Ghibli’s infamous Hayao Miyazaki. It’s just a shame that none of them can create a film with music that’ll get people singing again.
As much criticism as I put in my reviews, the movie is actually overall entertaining. I’d make it a rental, but it’s still worth a watch. Especially when you get to the firefly character, Ray(mond).
He’s awesome 
If they didn’t have him in the film, it woulda been quite boring, imo. Good morals in the film too. But, that’s kinda how all of ‘em are. “Follow your heart, and don’t lose sight of what’s really important.” Yay family movies.
Dear Disney, I wish you more success in your future ventures. Word of advice: Don’t worry about the success, and just focus on telling a great story. Success would come if you’d just follow your own advice. Thank you.
The Princess and The Frog: 3 of 5 stars
-Mattao
20 Nov
Food Inc – Follow Up
I thought it might be useful (for those of you who don’t know where to find documentaries) to give you a link to the whole movie in full…for free.
Totally legal. Check it out:
http://www.megavideo.com/?v=U1XMLH8B
-Mattao
16 Nov
Laser engraver plays Super Mario theme
Laser engraver plays Super Mario theme from Jedediah Smith on Vimeo.
Although very fucking awesome, it has been rumored the Jedediah Smith has not been laid in nearly 9 years.
